We can only speculate. Therapeutically speaking, I liken the pandemic to an ordeal we must go through as a global family. Even though ordeals are difficult and cause a lot of distress, they do give us an opportunity to reset. I think the pandemic is allowing people to self-assess their virtues and vices; it is providing them with an urgency towards adaptation.

Relationally, the habits around boundaries are changing. We are now asked to think about boundary-setting more seriously than ever. It’s no longer a therapeutic consideration; someone is going to get hurt if you don’t!

Financially, we are asked to act in more humble ways. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying ‘less is more,’ which is the new reality for all of us. We are now practicing the wisdom that comes with less is more.

Even the relationship we have to social media is shifting. Social media is becoming a bogeyman for most people. I have been hearing about clients limiting their own exposure to social media and feeling rewarded by it. So what this might mean for people and generations to come is a whole new set of habits, behaviors and expectations. Lifestyle changes might look like people not feeling threatened by closeness–perhaps a trend of reverse migration (from cities to small towns) as well as a shift in people’s financial aspirations.

For one, we should be willing to be creative–creative enough to challenge the dominant discourse that has been freaking people out about being at home with their own family. That cannot be our baseline of thinking at a time like this! We have a lot of information about our family members, which is much more than we can say about the world. So why not use that knowledge to create a democratic environment where needs are met equally and daily goals and purposes are created for all family members. Looking to the world to provide constant structure for us to function is compromising our survival skills. So this is a good chance to own up to that responsibility and see ourselves as the head of the state of our own household and claim some of that power back.

Also, boredom is not new to us. When we experience boredom, frustration, or anxiety, we should remember that these have been there before the pandemic. They come and they go with or without the pandemic, so we would benefit from less existential more practical ways of thinking when it comes to being around each other in close quarters.

It sounds like that’s what the numbers are saying. Does it make sense? Yes. People come closer to feeling their mortality in disasters or pandemics. So the idea of not having forever in your hand becomes a thing, and you end up thinking or doing things you would have never thought about doing before.

In that sense, some of those divorces are probably merited and are good news. Say if a person decided to leave their abusive relationship, to choose safety over familiarity. But some of those divorces are unmerited. Overwhelmed by the crisis, couples might use this period as an excuse to fulfill all of their expectations from each other. And, if they should fall short in this inflated aim, this might then be interpreted more as the moral failing of one another or of the relationship and decide to get a divorce!

I don’t think we can answer this question so simply. It requires more attention from us all. I just want to say that it is very unfortunate, and that we should open our eyes to women’s safety issues and absolutely make the kinds of individual and societal changes that ensures safety for all its members.

For many people, incomes have gone down or stopped completely, if so, they should look to see what type of resources are out there. The school district in my city is delivering food to households with kids who were enrolled in the school meal plan, for instance. Or communities might have different supports to offer to those who may have lost their income completely due to social distancing. The solution to anxiety is clarity and connectedness! At a time like this, the global landscape is exacerbating our need for clarity and connectedness, but these needs are more easily met within the bounds of a family.

The answer to how hard it is, will be a relative one. As a therapist, I can envision some parents who’ll struggle more than others, and some kids who’ll struggle less than others. What determines that is all kinds of intergenerational processes in the making. Each generation hands down a legacy about the meaning of family, closeness, safety and more. If we are lucky, we have good memories of being around each other, feeling safety with our care takers, finding meaning in sharing etc. This grants us healthy attachment skills like distress tolerance and self-regulation.

If this doesn’t define your experience of growing up, you may struggle a bit with the current circumstances of being in close corners, parenting and working at the same time. But the good news is that it is never too late!  Attachment formation is an ongoing process. For instance, let’s say that you feel you’re at a loss about a situation with your kid. It’s probably because you’re only thinking in the limited perimeters of your familial legacy. Look elsewhere. Ask yourself: “Who would know what to do in a situation like this?” Remember, you don’t have to know this person; it could be a fictional character who knows. But if that figure is giving a good sense that they could deal with this situation in an inspiring way, then give yourself the permission to mimic their behavior!